Self-Assessment Essay: Language and its Many Forms
I started this semester wondering two main things. What will I be learning? and how strict will my professor be? I had no clue what to expect especially since I took an AP English composition class my last year of high school. After the first class both of my questions were answered. One I would be learning about much more than just how to write a good essay. I’ve learned about the importance of being able to write in a way that expresses who you are and where you come from clearly. Second my professor was far from strict and he made it clear that “Standard” English wasn’t something we had to force ourselves to adhere to. Throughout the years I’ve always struggled with writing because I was always stressed about making sure I was using the correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation in my writing. So, it was quite a relief when he told us that. I think I can say I’ve become more confident in my writing as the semester has gone by. There’s definitely been times where I struggled or felt lost but all in all I think that I’ve become more comfortable with writing.
One of the pieces that really pushed me to further understand the importance of breaking the stereotypes of what “good” English is James Baldwin piece, “If Black English isn’t a Language, Then Tell Me, what is it?”. It was one of the few pieces I hadn’t read yet and the way Baldwin wrote it perfect encapsulated why standard English isn’t the form of English that should be respected by society. Black English is something millions of people use every day. It has history, culture, and character. While writing my essay I was happy that I had the freedom to use my English. The English I use with my friends and family. The English that is just says acceptable and understandable as standard English.
The hardest phase of this class was the third phase. At first I was like “ok I need to write a research paper my least favorite kind of paper to write”. However, when it came time for us to choose a topic, I was completely stuck. I didn’t want to write about language again since we had been doing that in Phase 1 and Phase 2. So, at first, I decided to write about homelessness since it wasn’t something I kept on seeing since starting to frequently use the train for school and work, however when it came time for me to start writing the passion, I had for the topic began to phase out. Once this started happening, I found I had to go to class because I felt like I was very behind. Everyone else had started writing their drafts while I was still stuck changing my topic every time I started writing. Inevitably though I realized that I was just holding myself back by not going to class. So, I picked a topic I could relate to on a more personal level. Natural hair. A topic that can be irrelevant to some and life-altering for others. Once I settled on its topic I began my research, and the rest was history. I think that out of all the phases, the third one pushed my limits. I had to start from scratch and work my way up.
Despite the trouble I had during the third phase I think that this class was still relatively enjoyable. I had never been in a space where everyone could relate to me. Troubles caused by the English language. It was always nice to hear and read about all the different lives of my classmates. Phase 2 made that possible since I had to write a peer profile about someone I hadn’t yet spoken to in class. This person turned about to be a great person with amazing writing skills that I genuinely admired. I’m glad I was able to step out of my comfort zone and learn about another person on a deeper level. I also think that phase 2 was what allowed everyone in class to become more comfortable with talking to each other.
Last but not least my favorite phase was the first one. Having to think about my relationship with language and how it has impacted my life was something I never stopped to consider. It was kind of boring at first because I thought it had to be something very dramatic and put together. However, when I started thinking about how it felt to come to a country without understanding a lick of English the story already felt naturally dramatic. I had the opportunity to realize where the mistakes were made during my childhood that made me lose the ability to speak my native language. Although those events were bittersweet I do think that they happened for a reason.
In conclusion, I think that this semester tested me a lot. I had to learn how to do things that were beyond what you expect from an English class. I’m glad I was out in a class that pushed me to get out of my comfort zone. I also felt like to had a teacher who was very understanding and classmates who always had different perspectives to share. All in all, I’m glad I got to experience this class and learn to grow as a student and person.
